THE MASKS WE WEAR

These past three weeks, I had the opportunity to reflect on the power of being vulnerable- of sharing honest, unfiltered stories. In a world so consumed with appearance, we're told to hide the pure light that we hold within ourselves. Even amidst the superficial, we can find ways to be real.

Admittedly, everything is easier said than done. It's easy for me to write all this- spew out a bunch of pretty phrases for all to read, and then go back to my old ways. The truth of the matter is, we all fake it. We're all afraid. We're all just crossing our fingers, hoping no one notices.

No matter how strong we act, no matter how high we build up the walls around us... it still hurts. Words hurt- what others say matters to us. But we put smiles on our faces and tell ourselves and others we're okay.

I'll never forget the woman I met on a NYC subway the March of my senior year of high school. When the subway doors opened, a woman with a purple fur coat and a bag of canvases and paint brushes sat next to me. She proceeded to ask about my day and tell her whole life story. I told her I was hearing back from colleges, hoping to pursue a degree in communication. She then stopped me and said, "I didn't ask for your major; what do you want to be when you grow up?"

After about thirty seconds of uncomfortable delay, I responded. Honestly, I was taken aback- [If you've ever been on a New York City subway, you know people aren't there to make friends. It's mostly just a silver tube full of uncomfortable silence, frustrated humans, and a fume of anxiety that suffocates], this was strange.

As possibly deranged as she may have been, she was being real with me. I always wondered what made her spark that conversation with me and not the person on her right. Maybe it was coincidental, maybe she saw something in me... I don't know. Regardless of what prompted her to tell me that, it was something I needed to hear. At that time of my life, what I wished for- what I desperately wanted- was to put myself out there as fearlessly as that woman did on that subway.

I'm not saying we should pour our souls out to every person we meet but, let's spark up a conversation about what hurts once in a while. If we feel like the only things we can talk about with our friends is the good, then are they really our friends?

We go about our days holding up a mask. But it's exhausting... the half-ass smiles, the "I'm fine's", the masks, the bullsh*t.

"Fake it till you make it" is a saying for a reason. People who are vocal about their pain and struggles are labeled drama queen, overly-sensitive, weak. Those who don't, feel just the same, but they're better at playing the game. They don't let others know their arms are sore from keeping up the mask.

It's time we ask ourselves... without the filters, captions, likes, masks... do people know us? Do they know our unfiltered, unedited, uncut selves? Without the make believe and pretend games...who are we?

We might then want to ask ourselves: who would we be? If there were no judgments, if we knew people wouldn't criticize, that no one would mind/care/see.. who would we be?

We don't pour our hearts out to just anyone (or debatably, ever), we don't answer a simple hello from a stranger with "I'm having the worst day ever." We don't tell anyone when we suffer but we really should. We need perspective, we need help. We can't handle it all by ourselves because if not, we'll burst.

We act like we're indestructible but we're not machines. We're not iPhone glitches easily fixed with a software update. We need love and warmth and human connection. We need to be heard and helped. We dont have to be "perfect" all the time. Being real, being vulnerable makes us strong. We're showing our power.

It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to break down and fall and hurt because we all do. And it's okay to talk about it. There's no shame in being real, in hurting, in needing help, in feeling, in being human.

It's okay to tell people when we've broken down and fallen because only then will we be able to get back up.

Being real isn't easy, but it's what we make of it. We get to decide if we want to let people use these things against us or if we want to offer our true selves as points of reference, inspiration.

We don't get too much time on this earth, why are we wasting it on listening to stupid comments, voices that tells us we can't? Why are we wasting so much time looking at our lives through masks instead of actually living them?

I say... no more make believe, no more pretend, no more bullsh*t. Let's be real.

**DO NOT OWN GIF