SURVIVING

**Dedicated to my sweet, sweet Gauchito. I love you; you'll always be my forever pup.

 02/07/09 - 01/28/18**

That phrase- "the calm before the storm"?  I can definitely attest to that.

About two months ago, I'd slept in and woken up to what I thought would be another Sunday morning. I'd get out of bed, eat brunch, and go about my day like usual. I didn't realize that my seemingly-ordinary morning, would be anything but ordinary. 

That morning I woke up to an unexpected and horrific tragedy involving someone I was very close to and cared very deeply for. He had come into my life during a period of loss and darkness and illuminated it with love, warmth, and joy.

To make the situation even more difficult, his loss also brought me back to the pain he had once alleviated. That same darkness and emptiness creeped into my life and intensified.  The days and weeks that followed were difficult and brought up a lot of unrelated, feelings and personal issues.

But as terrible as this situation was and as much as I still struggle with it, I've only grown stronger.

Before all this happened, I had recently come out of a period of what could be considered, the "Sophomore Slump.”After a difficult quarter of feelings of uncertainty and loss of belonging and identity, I was finally feeling like I was in control; I was living in the calm before the storm that would ensue.

But as this situation has reminded me, life is fleeting. I’ve lost other loved ones in my life before and have had my share of unforeseen ups and downs; that’s how it works. Each morning we wake up, we face new possibilities of life and loss. Things can change in an instant. Ultimately, as much as we try and tell ourselves otherwise, we're not in control. 

But this doesn't mean we should just give up and let life take the reigns. The unpredictability of life shouldn't scare or discourage us.

If anything, it should motivate us to make the most out of each moment and each day. It should remind us to treasure those we love- to hold on tightly to the goodness and light that life brings. It should inspire us to live fearlessly.

We can't dictate what the future will be, but we can prepare ourselves with self-love and strength so that when the inevitable storm comes, we survive it.